Anyone Else Kinda Hate Draymond Green?



Draymond Green, man. I don’t know. He’s kind of a dick, right?

He is the guy who you never want to show up during pickup basketball. You never invite him, he just keeps fucking showing up.

You invite your five other friends so you can all get a nice and balanced 3 on 3 game going, and because they aren’t dicks who yell and scream all the time.

Everyone is having a good time. It’s fun. The two best scorers are on opposite teams. The two big men are on opposite teams. The two shitty kids who suck but try really hard are on different teams.

You’re having a lot of fun; you just finished your second game in a five game series. The score is tied at 1 with a big game three coming up.

Then fucking Draymond Green shows up with his own shitty basketball that he always insists on using. He immediately calls next. He is demanding you break up the teams and shoot free throws to decide who is playing with who.

There goes your pivotal game three.

The game starts. Draymond Green is the best player on the court. He knows it. You know it. The shitty friend sitting to the side because everyone made a free throw except him knows it.

He is running circles around the other team. Running the PNR to perfection. He is just eviscerating the interior D of the other team. He’s dunking, passing, hitting threes.

And he just will not shut the fuck up about it. He’s yelling. Spit is flying everywhere. He just threatened to fight the kid he dunked on. He says he has 12 points, nine rebounds and eight assists.


He finally gets his stupid pickup triple-double, and now he has taken to Twitter to announce his dominance over the other team. He tags his teammates in it. They like the Tweet because they don’t know how else to act. Now everyone knows that Draymond Green just dropped a goddamn triple-double on the other team. The whole thing is a nightmare.

Next weekend, you cruise around looking for a more secluded court where Draymond Green won’t find you. But it doesn’t matter. Draymond Green will always find you.

Draymond Green, man. I don’t know. He’s kind of a dick, right?

Image via Larry Brown Sports


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