The NBA glitched last night.
For one thing, the Knicks won, which seems to happen so sparingly these days that it ignites an exuberant sense of aimless joy from that goodness-forsaken basketball town on the rare occasion that it does.
But also, some even stranger stuff happened.
- Dion Waiters absolutely wetted a game-winning three-pointer for the Miami Heat in Miami over Klay Thompson and the Warriors. The game had a classic The-Warriors-Had-Too-Much-Fun-In-South-Beach-But-They’ll-Recover-For-The-Win feel, and seemed to be confirmed when Kevin Durant dunked for the tie with 11 seconds left, followed by Waiters nonchalantly bringing the ball upcourt. But then he absolutely cashed a beautiful shot with .6 seconds left, then mean-mugged like he won the damn Finals. I’m cool with it, though, do you Dion. And screw Kevin Durant.
- Kyrie Irving dropped 49 points, LeBron James had a triple-double, and the New Orleans Pelicans, playing without Anthony Davis at The Big Smooth, still beat the Cleveland Cavaliers. How? Jesus H. I don’t know. But LeBron, apparently as bewildered as the rest of us, went off after the game about his team’s need for a playmaker.
“We need a f—ing playmaker,” James said. “I’m not saying you can just go find one, like you can go outside and see trees. I didn’t say that.”
LeBron saying his team needs a playmaker is like me telling my mom I need to exercise more. LeBron, you’re the GM. Go out and do it. Samuel Evers, you’re the one who uses your body, go out and exercise.
- James Harden made unarguably the best defensive play of his career, and the Houston Rockets lost to the Milwaukee Bucks. The Bucks have some great young talent and will soon be very, very good, but they are not all that good yet. The Rockets are very good, and should win those types of games should they expect to keep relative pace with the Spurs and Warriors. But Harden had 11 turnovers to go with his near-triple-double. Don’t look now, but Houston has now lost five of eight.
See, the NBA glitched last night.